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> A MARRIED COUPLE IN THEIR EARLY 50'S WAS OUT CELEBRATING THEIR 35TH
> ANNIVERSARY IN A QUIET, ROMANTIC LITTLE RESTAURANT.
>
> SUDDENLY, A TINY BEAUTIFUL FAIRY APPEARED ON THEIR TABLE AND SAID, 'FOR
> BEING SUCH AN EXEMPLARY MARRIED COUPLE AND FOR BEING SO FAITHFUL TO EACH
> OTHER FOR ALL THIS TIME, I WILL GRANT YOU EACH A WISH.'
> 'OH, I WANT TO TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD WITH MY DARLING HUSBAND'
> SAID THE WIFE.' THE FAIRY WAVED HER MAGIC WAND AND POOF-TWO TICKETS FOR
> THE QUEEN MARY ll LUXURY LINER APPEARED IN HER HANDS.
>
> THEN IT WAS THE HUSBAND'S TURN. HE THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT AND
> SAID: 'WELL, THIS IS ALL VERY ROMANTIC, BUT AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS
> WILL NEVER COME AGAIN. I'M SORRY MY LOVE, BUT MY WISH IS TO HAVE A WIFE
> 30 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME.'
>
> THE WIFE, AND THE FAIRY, WERE DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED, BUT A WISH IS
> A WISH....
>
> SO THE FAIRY WAVED HER MAGIC WAND AND - POOF!- THE HUSBAND
> BECAME 82 YEARS OLD.
>
> THE MORAL OF THE STORY: MEN WHO ARE UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS SHOULD
> REMEMBER FAIRIES ARE FEMALE.
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Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England .
In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars
of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz,
Mexico , which was to be
the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York .
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise
ever delivered to Mexico .
But
as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York .
The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the
cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico , who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting
its delivery,
were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of
Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as
Sinko de Mayo.
==========================================================================================
Ukraine's 'oldest man' turns 116
By Helen Fawkes
BBC News, Kiev
A man thought to be the oldest living person in the world is celebrating his 116th birthday.
Hryhoriy Nestor was born in what is now Ukraine.The authorities are to mark the occasion
by officially recognising him as the oldest person in Ukraine.
They say they have documents that prove that his birthday is on 15 March 1891.
An attempt is now being made to get him into the international record books.
Hryhoriy puts his long life down to the fact that he has never been married.
=============================================================
> The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
> readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
> subtracting, or changing one letter -- and supply a new definition.
>
Some of the winners are:
>
> 1. Cashtration (n.): the act of buying or building a house, which
> renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
2. Ignoranus (n.): a person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>
> 3. Intaxication (n.): euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
> until you realize that it was your money to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation (n.): coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone (n.): the substance surrounding stupid people that stops
> bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
> little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy (n.): any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
> of getting laid.
>
> 7. Giraffiti (n.): vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>
> 8. Sarchasm (n.): the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
> person who doesn't get it.
>
> 9. Inoculatte (v.): to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
>
> 10. Hipatitis (n.): terminal coolness.
